This might be a unique question, or it may not, but:
I need a way to make a simple “website” that would respond to HTTP requests with a set response, nothing further.
My main problem is, after some digging, there are no simple “Copy and post on cloudflare” solutions, and I know basically nothing more than roblox luau scripting, so I need either a readily-made solution, or any kind of way to have a “Roblox-script” like thing.
If I understand you correctly, I believe you are looking for a webpage that would give a static response every time it is requested and no internal calculations. If this is the case, you could use GitHub Gist to create a file and then make a request to it as the raw link.