Would this story scene break the community rules?

Hopefully this isn’t breaking the rules, and if some part of it is, hopefully the violation can be isolated to just one part that can be removed and replaced. In other words, I’d rather not scrap the entire thing if it can be salvaged.

Bob works in a cubicle at button corp. At button corp, employees push a green glowing button for 8 hours a day. Bob is proud to be a contributing member of society. Bob sits next to a nice old lady. One day the nice old lady passes out and falls out of her chair. The supervisor remarks “We got another one”, and security drags her out. The supervisor immediately brings in a new recruit to replace the old lady at her desk. Bob continues to press the button.

Behind the button pushing terminals is a wall, but there are small camouflaged doors that lead to the back room. Only the supervisor and maintenance crew are allowed back there.

It’s lunch time. Everyone except Bob has already left for lunch. A repair guy shows up and opens the small door next to Bob’s terminal. However, the repair guy exclaims that he forgot his tools, and that it’ll take him 10 minutes to get them. Repair guy leaves but forgets to shut the door.

Bob is curious. He might get punished if he goes in there, but decides to go in anyway. Bob discovers that, behind each of the button pushing terminals is a wire that leads to a TV screen, but the TVs are turned off. Bob turns on the screen connected to his terminal. We never see what was on the screen, but whatever it was causes Bob to break down crying on the floor. The repair guy returns. It turns out his tools weren’t actually that far away.

Bob sprints out of the building, running until he reaches an empty beach. He sits there watching the waves push and pull. A black van pulls up behind the beach. Scene abruptly ends.

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Maybe. I think that the dragging out the lady part can’t go in but I think the rest could go through.
Here’s why

  1. The lady might be dead and dragging a dead person out of a building is not PG at all.
  2. A black van… Is this the mafia? I don’t know.
  3. Eh, the whole thing seems kinda suspicious.

Overall I think that you could salvage this by explaining the van more and not having a person getting dragged out.


This feels like the Stanley Parable :0

Like Energy said, that probably is breaking the rules. Maybe just say that one day, the lady doesn’t show up to work or something and don’t actually show what happens to her.

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