Feedback for roblox studio video

(hope this is the right place) I decided to start making videos about all the free models i made in those years and started with this pretty decent result.. However, how could i improve it? Do you think that this video could be better? Is the editing style good enough? Do you think this type of video could have some success?

Here is the link of the module i made my video about if you want to see that too.