Hello everyone! I just released chapter 2 of my game which has more features, improved ambience and build quality and many more improvements compared to CHAP 1. I would love to hear your feedback!
3 Likes
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After playing the game, I have a few things to say.
Lobby
First off the quality was less than dissapointing, as a scary game the lobby didn’t make a very scary introduction. It was literally just your average “pay me robux” lobby. It seemed extremely disorganized with all sorts of “play cylinders” located around, and random hard to read text either via Neon or BillBoard GUI.
Notes
The notes themselves didn’t really add to the story, and seemed sorta “off”. I don’t really know how to explain it but it seemed like there was literally no effort put into the notes, it was just your average hollywood style writing to quickly tell rather-than show. The UI seemed to have just been thrown together, with a very unflattering gradient thrown behind it. This made it extremely hard to focus on the actual text. I somehow luckily managed to read the notes in relative order, which made the experience slightly better.
Enviroment
The enviroment was probably the most quality aspect of the entire game itself, setting aside the gameplay. The lighting looked good, it was dark and eery. However some aspects looked a bit cartoony or low quality, like the signs on certain surfaces or the ranom electric wires that looked like they were pulled straight out of Regular Show, and di not fit the actual look or feel of the game.
Enemies
While the enemies were relatively “Creepy” looking they served more as a small annoyance rather than a challenge for the game itself. I could very quickly and easily evade them with no difficulty. However I do applaud the effort put into the animations of the enemies as well as the look of them, it really did fit the theme. However I am unsure of how they are fitting into the story? Are they previous employees who drank too much coffee in order to work faster? Were they just random zombies that didn’t add to the story? If they are previous employees why are they trying to attack me rather than banging their heads against walls or generally acting insane? This is not explained enough.
Voice Acting
You would have done better not adding any voice lines in the game itself. The script seemed incomplete with an inexperienced actor trying to read lines they probably have never read before. It seemed almost like the actor was trying to seem mysterious but miserably failed at doing so. The game probably could have gotten away with literally just text on the screen. Also the voice went from normal to trying to sound deep which didn’t really make sense.
Gameplay
The gameplay was relatively fine, ableit extremely confusing. I had no idea what I was doing, and couldn’t find anything, which drained my time to complete even one recipe. This game could have gone the extra mile and added some sort of hinting system that is subtle but helpful. Unfortunately that is probably what is going to make this game suffer entirely.
Final Verdict
I am honestly going to give this game a 30/100. The saving grace for the game itself was literally the enviroment, if it weren’t for the ambient sounds and decent lighting, I would have assumed a 3 year old threw this game together with their mom’s office computer. I honestly wouldn’t even play this game again unless it got some sort of revamp.
DISCLAIMER ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS REVIEW ARE PURELY SUBJECTIVE, EVERYONES OPINIONS WILL DIFFER. WHILE THIS REVIEW MAY SEEM HARSH OR RUDE IT IS ENTIRELY HONEST. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE WORDING OR OPINIONS EXPRESSED. THIS REVIEW IS MEANT TO SHOCK THE GAME CREATOR INTO CREATING SOMETHING BETTER.
4 Likes
Hey there! The lobby like you said was just put together ina couple minutes. Fair enough. The notes is something I noticed too. I just couldn’t put my finger on it and for the enemies they are employees who were abandoned in a huge riot at the factory. They could only survive off the spare caffeine in the cupboards. And for the gameplay I also noticed how hard it was to complete a recipe. I should probably increase the the timer. It does sound a bit harsh but your advice will help me make a better game or improve the current game.
Chapter 2 is out? I think I left some feedback on the trailer.
Anyways, Chapter 2 to me at best is bland, and not scary.
Full thoughts:
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Gameplay: TLTR: Recipes are too long. Need more time. Make a tutorial so people know what to do.
First game, I started the power and then I had make two recipes. I had no idea where the ingredients were. When I try another game, I found the ingredients. However some of the recipes are way too long!!
Look below
Cocoa Powder is one of first thing I had to make. Does it have to required so much stuff? This is a video game, recipes don’t have be super realistic.
It could just be something like: Cocoa Powder = Powder + Milk + Cocoa
Longer recipes for late game or hard mode is fine. But, not for one of the first recipes I had to make!
I could possible make something, only if the time to make two whole recipes wasn’t like 70 seconds! You could start the timer when the player already made some recipes, so the player already know how to make them. You could add a UI with all the recipes, so the players don’t have go around the map. Another thing you could add are labels to all the ingredients. sugar is the only item that labeled. Add the name, a emoji, or something so players don’t have go back to a ingredient to remember what it is. This game could be fun and challenging with more time and a tutorial. -
Horror: TLTR: not scary… like at all.
there are two zombie workers. Theirs designs are only scary if got bad eye sight. I could easily outrun them and even they hit me, I still survive with something like 30 less health. There also lockers to hide in, but they completely useless. I was more afraid of running out of time, than the zombies. Lasty, that jumpscare at the end is pathetic. My character already died so I knew a jumpscare or loud noise was about to play. -
The Map(Factory): TLTR: The map is bland and I feel nothing about it.
The map is really bland. It just look like you made or took a free model of a factory, then you added trees and broken wires to make look abandoned.
The factory doesn’t have look super high quality. It just have to be somewhat creepy and scary.
A good map/environment can help set the tone of the game. It can also tell a story without having a single line of text. -
The Story/ Voice Acting: TLTR: I don’t care. The gameplay is not good.
I got some props to you for voicing acting. Your voice acting wasn’t the best, but it cool you at least tried.
The story of game is you are in factory and you have to save you mum.
you could change mum to dad, best friend, etc, and nothing would change.
Maybe you actually see your mum at end? Too bad, the game is too confusing and I couldn’t make a single recipe. If even this game’s story is a 10/10, playing the game isn’t fun. I guess rip my mum.
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Lobby/ Monetization: TLTR: If you going add gamepasses and donations put in more effort into the lobby and other things .
When I joined the game for the first time, I noticed a donation board and some gamepasses.
There nothing wrong with some forms of monetization. It 100% fine and most Roblox devs do that.
The issue is I think you may have put more effort into adding revives, gamepasses, donations then 90% of everything else. I am sure I spend more time writing this review, then you making the lobby.
How can you expect somebody to buy a gamepass when the lobby look so bad.
There also the UIs, they are functional and nothing more. -
Final Thoughts:
the final hours[Chapter 2] is a game that does the bare minimum and very confusing. The game works, but at what cost? If you serious about being a Roblox or game developer you need to put more time and play testing. Add more hints and make the presentation better.
NOTE: These thoughts are my opinions. I am not trying to be mean and talk trash about your game.
I hope you listen to my feedback and make better games in the future.
You do see your mum at the end. I don’t think you completely finished the game yet. I should probably let the player know that you need to complete 15 items in the factory in the combination of both the factories
Ok man, I got an actual legit headache from playing your game in the first 50 seconds because of the freaking camera movement. As soon as I spawn in, all the instructions are unclear and I have no idea what im supposed to do. btw your text is unscaled for mobile so all your text sizes are huge for some reason and I heavily suggest that you change your font as it dosen’t look scary at all. Although i thought chapter 1 was decent, chapter 2 on the other hand looks super rushed and low quality and the lobby still looks the same as last time even though I told you to change it before. In total, the gameplay isn’t fun at all and instead makes all players regret clicking on the game. The voice acting was top notch though and gave me a jump scare but other than that, the map is bland, theres no point in playing because of how confusing it is, and the map needs a major rework. I mean Im not expecting models to look like they’re out of the mimic but at least put some effort into making it look scary. So far it looks like you just slapped a bunch of free models together, added some sfx and quickly edited some ui and called it a horror game. It feels low effort and I think you shouldve taken your time because why would you rush to release chapter 2 so early when its so unpolished.
Improvements:
- test your game
- make it easier to figure out what to do
- change the font
- and make the maps more original
Sorry if this sounds like a brutal teardown but Im speaking facts, and the fact is that the game is confusing as hell and Im sure that it has potential but not right now. Good luck on your future projects I hope you listen to the improvements me and the others say because we are simulating what real players think. 
I made this review long because I actually have a headache from playing and I don’t want others to suffer the same
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