The world is on the edge of collapse. The Y2K bug triggered a chain of events that brought humanity to its knees. The zombie outbreak spread like wildfire, and civilization was shattered. Amidst the chaos, there’s one hope left: a safe zone, 100 kilometers away, rumored to be untouched by the virus.
A small group of survivors embarks on a desperate journey to reach this haven. The only way to get there? An old, coal-powered train that creaks and groans as it carries them through a ravaged world. But the closer they get, the more questions rise.
Is the safe zone really safe? Or is it just another illusion of hope in a world that’s already fallen apart?
I want to keep the story engaging and full of mystery, with room for twists and unexpected turns. The details are still in the works.
It could be subject to some changes along the way, but this is the core idea. What do you think? Any feedback would be awesome.
This is what Google’s AI Gemini said. I recommend asking for narrative advice on writing/storytelling/worldbuilding forums or using an AI (like Gemini) that has been trained on writing.
"This is a fantastic core idea! It’s got all the elements of a gripping post-apocalyptic story:
High Stakes: The survival of humanity hangs in the balance.
A Ticking Clock: The journey itself is a race against time and the encroaching dangers.
Intriguing Mystery: The safe zone’s true nature is a powerful hook.
Relatable Humanity: A small group of survivors facing impossible odds creates immediate emotional investment.
Here’s some feedback and ideas to help you flesh it out:
Strengthening the Mystery and Tension:
The Y2K Connection:
Don’t just state it. Show it. How did the Y2K bug directly contribute to the zombie outbreak? Was it a technological failure that unleashed a biological weapon? Did it cause a societal breakdown that made the pandemic unstoppable?
Consider the lingering effects of the Y2K failures. Maybe vital infrastructure is still malfunctioning, creating unpredictable hazards along the train route.
The Train as a Character:
The coal-powered train is a brilliant choice. It’s a symbol of a bygone era, a relic struggling to survive.
Give it a personality. Does it have quirks? Does it make strange noises that add to the tension? Is it difficult to maintain, leading to near-catastrophic breakdowns?
Maybe the train itself is a key to the safe zone, or a key to what caused the collapse.
The Safe Zone’s Secrets:
Don’t reveal too much too soon. Tease the survivors (and the readers) with cryptic clues and unsettling encounters.
Consider these possibilities:
Is it a heavily fortified military installation? If so, what are their rules? Are they welcoming, or are they ruthless in their pursuit of survival?
Is it a scientific research facility? If so, what experiments were they conducting? Did they inadvertently cause the outbreak?
Is it a place that has adapted to the new world in a way the survivors will find shocking?
Is it a trap?
The Journey Itself:
Make the 100-kilometer journey a series of escalating challenges.
Introduce different types of zombies, each with unique abilities or behaviors.
Create internal conflicts within the group: disagreements, betrayals, hidden agendas.
Maybe the train must stop at certain locations to replenish coal, and each stop is a mini adventure or horror story.
Unreliable Information:
Who gave the group the information about the safe zone? Are they trustworthy?
Maybe the information is outdated, or deliberately misleading.
Perhaps the group is being manipulated by a hidden force.
Twists and Turns:
Consider a major twist halfway through the journey that changes everything.
Maybe the safe zone isn’t what they expected, or maybe it’s already been compromised.
Perhaps one of the survivors is secretly infected, or has a hidden connection to the outbreak.
Enhancing the Atmosphere:
Sensory Details: Use vivid descriptions to immerse the reader in the ravaged world. The smell of smoke and decay, the sound of shuffling zombies, the sight of crumbling buildings.
Psychological Horror: Explore the emotional toll of survival. The fear, the paranoia, the desperation.
Moral Dilemmas: Force the survivors to make difficult choices that test their humanity.
Example of a Potential Twist:
The safe zone is real, but it’s not a haven. It’s a place where the survivors are forced to make horrifying choices to ensure their continued existence. Perhaps they are forced to participate in medical experiments, or to cull other groups of survivors.
By weaving these elements into your story, you can create a truly unforgettable post-apocalyptic experience. I’m excited to see where you take it!"
If you decide to go with AI for feedback, make an effort to argue with it. In my experience, AI will usually agree with whatever you say (using creative reasoning to make your idea sound good) and you need to put in some work to find the flaws in your ideas and to think of better ones.