A while ago I have created a new Story Game. How do you guys like it? How can I improve?
https://www.roblox.com/games/5339425644/Tonight-Story
I went for a low poly style.
Thanks for checking it out!
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In Lilyâs house, when you go on the beds it plays a sitting animation that makes you float. Maybe change it.
Oh yes, I did notice that! Thank you.
Hello 0_Exrorr
Itâs nice to see Story games ! there are not a lot of them.
PS: Have in mind that Iâm a fairly new developper ( a Builder, mostly ) but I noticed things that could be improved in your game
First impression :
I was a little bit confused at first since there was no context. You could add some sort of cinematics, moving players camera sometimes, like when players arrive at Lillyâs house.
Like movies !
Advices :
- First of all, when players have to enter the school bus, it would be a good thing if we could sit instead of being standing up.
I also noticed that we enter the school bus but when we arrive at Lillyâs house there are multiple cars ( I played the game alone but I guess other players were in the bus too, right ? ) So i do not understand why there were so much cars - Builds could be improved a lot ! even though it is a low poly style you could deffinitively add some details, 3D objects made in things like Blender and such, diversity in the decoration ( paintings are all the same ), rotating the cats that are on the carpet so they donât look the same, or even animate them !
There are also collision problems, there is an invisible thing beetween the couch and the table with all the tacos.
When sleeping, I was floating in the air and when I got teleported back to the living room after the monster attack I was in the floor ( I jumped once and it was fixed )
About the story :
It is very basic and short. You could add way more, like investigating with other players to find clues about the monster. Maybe even go to another place like a forest with everyone and Lilly and have a second monster attack, things like that !
If you want to have a very good story you could always read some books that are similar to your story, it will help for sure.
I hope I helped you with your game !
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Yes, Thank you so much!! About the forest thing and such, I am planning on making âTonight 2 [Story]â (a second version) which I will fix the little things and make it more interesting. Thank you for the advice!
Youâre welcome, sounds great !
Goodluck with it 
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uhm why is it when i sleep its just the sitting animationâŚlike no 
its so shortâŚlike too shortâŚnot a lot of ppl would want to play itâŚ
and ur already trying to make a second version when this needs so much improvement and work?
the detail can be improved and the bus could use seats
the âvictoryâ gui is too pixelated
but gg for ur first story game
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Yes I know, thank you. Sorry if I didnât clear much things up. I am still fixing all the stuff in the game, as well as being in the making of a second version. Thank you though.
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Just wondering, what is wrong with the sitting animation?
it doesnt look right for this situation its a rlly good game tho
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Hey there! I definitely enjoyed the game but there are a few things that I personally believe could be improved.
That includes:
- The buses
When you spawn in the buses are automatically counting down. Iâd suggest making it so that the timer only starts once a player has entered the bus. - Invisible walls
Next to the couch, on the right side, there is an invisible wall. Not sure why its there but I donât believe the wall plays a major role in any of the scenes so removing it would probably be optimal. - Taco scene
This should be tweaked so that you canât pickup the tacos until the scene is playing where youâre teleported in front of them. Just a personal thought. - The beds
Perhaps have the character shifted downwards a bit, it seems that 3/4 of my character is on the pillow while the other 1/4 is on the bed itself. - The âmonsterâ
Iâm not sure if this is what you were going for but the monster spawns in odd for me. Half of itsâ body is missing (i.e. the torso, an arm), if thatsâ what you were going for just ignore this suggestion. - The knife
The knife canât be picked up while deciding whether or not to trust Lilly. I went up to it, clicked it and nothing happened. I then walked over it and it got flung across the map. - Victory scene
Due to the fact that I couldnât pickup the knife I assume I shouldâve lost the game but I ended up winning, perhaps Iâm missing the point.
Overall, this game has loads of potential and I hope to see it on the front page one day! 
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That sure is weird! I will try fixing everything. Thank you!
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No worries. I wish you the best of luck on creating it.
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Are you supposed to be able to take tacos before she says do you guys want tacos?
also u might want to make it so people cant take all the tacos
edit: you also might want to make the monster faster⌠he got stuck on a wall and then when he got out I could literally just circle around him over and over, also I just realized that @Peacedownload already said some of this stuff
Love the game!
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Thank you! I will def look into that stuff.
about lilyâs design, I think its kinda off lol
- the hair extensions on her shirt doesnât match her brown hair
- plus the horns feels kinda out of place(or maybe sheâs a demon trying to backstab you as part of the plot lol
oh, and also her personality and the way she talks seems too enthusiastic? you could try to explore more personalities other than enthusiastic lol
either way this game is alright, its like every other story game 
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Thanks for the suggestions and feedback!
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i tried your game and i kinda agree with most of the above issues like sleep position, invisible wall near taco table.
i will just highlight this particular issue. in the scene where i decided to not pickup the knife the monster came out but it seems that it cannot find a way out of Lillyâs back
it look like about to walk for a few seconds and after that just stays there, maybe i was too far idk (i was waiting for 1 minute). and then i walk closer but trying to keep Lilly in between me and the monster. this is what happened
maybe you can improve the way the monster chase a player
good luck with your game!
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oh btw you should add pathfinding to the monster AI.
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