Feedback on my games storyline

Hi, im Tjieko. Im working on a game called Remedy with my developer team, and i recently saw alot of comments on some topics about story games. Alot of people were mentioning you need a really good story, which is original. I’d like to know what you guys think of our storyline.

(This is a bit summed up)

An unknow virus has spread across the world, changing people (the players) into zombies.
Luckily, this isn’t an instant change for the strong (the player), it takes a while before you fully turn into a zombie.
But for the weak people (NPCs) this is an instant change, they turn into the brainless creatures that you see in games and movies.
The stronger people’s bodies can fight the virus, but not forever.

The objective of the game is to forfill tasks to find information about a vaccine. (This information will eventually lead them to a government facility where the vaccine is being stored.)
The vaccine is yet to be released to the world and currently, there isn’t enough for everyone.
It will take a while until the vaccine can be distributed to everyone.
The players cant wait till then, so they have to RAID the facility and steal the cure.

Let me know what you think of this or if/how i should improve it (with a reason of course).

Thanks for reading,


I like the first part where you explain the virus and the vaccine, but I feel like the last part where you need to break into the government facility doesn’t make sense. Maybe you could tie it together more, and remove loose ends? :smiley: that’s just my thought, hope it helps!


I moved the category to #help-and-feedback:game-design-support, where the narrative support should be.