It is a single-player horror game following a story. Before I start advertising I thought it would be good to get some feedback in case I need to make last minute changes. It could be about anything- the gameplay, design, scripting, etc. Thanks so much!
edit - also, thought I’d add that I am planning on making more than one ending once I see how the game does.
I’ll check it out when I’m home, the thumbnail looks different from other horror games and gives me a sorta different feeling that makes me want to play.
@TyePHX Thank you, I enjoyed coming up with the thumbnail so I’m glad you like it!
@Valkyrop Thank you so much, I worked hard on the intro so I’m happy you thought it was good!
@busterbob64 Thank you for the feedback! I understand what you are saying about the story not being clear, since I tried to be somewhat cryptic, but I definitely went a bit far. I tried to provide some background though on the whiteboards in the lab at the end, and I scattered many small details around the game providing some background, but now thinking of it I never really tied it all together. (When I have the whole story making sense in my head, I never realized how it can all be confusing for the player)
I’m glad you enjoyed it though! It was nice seeing an outside perspective on the game
Instead of teleporting to another game having the game start as soon as you hit the play button would be nice.
I’m confused on why I’m here
The task thingy is pretty basic, I’d improve on that to make it look nice. (maybe look at old horror point and click adventure games for inspiration)
Adding a tab inventory to check the notes you have would be nice.
This is cool but as it’s a horror game it is emersion breaking.
At the start I’d have it so so you have a conversation with friend and choose which side you’re gonna go on. This will add depth to the characters in the story. (At the start they can both be explorers with a love for danger and getting freaked out. By the end of the story they can be traumatised.)
Then you can have it so you look around the place, collect a bunch of random trinkets, maybe take photos of certian things, and once you’ve done that you message your friend via phone/radio to meet back at the entry. (remember radios can only have one person communicating at a time)
This man clearly has an ego huh. Why am I even learning about this stuff anyways.
This backstory segment kinda chill kinda vibin
Building could do with some work.
Title should show hints to story to come?
Title needs some background music or ambiance, maybe add a humming sound FX to the car
All of the games need a bit more sound IMO
Story things to work on
Less exposition, let me find stuff out for myself
More character development, the characters currently have no personality.
More defined aim of what you’re trying to do and why.
Over all 6/10 was quite enjoyable, not at all of quality.
You got a lot of potential as a dev, however story seams to be your biggest weak spot.
If you want help making a story for your game feel free to message me for help
Also I’d recommend a blocky style for your map.
Thank you very much for your feedback! This was the first actual game I created so an actual analysis like this is very useful!
I tried to clarify that in the intro cutscene, where he explains they are looking for his brother, Jake, who went missing. (I also included that in the description, but probably should clarify more in the actual game.) Should I add how they found the place, or something of that sorts?
I included this in the notes, (I was unaware they were hard to read,) but the note in the other bathroom explains that they are hiding away from whatever is killing them all. Where they say “The future looks hopeless to us,” I was hoping it would show that this was their final wishes / last resort.
Since the proximity prompt blocks the note, I could add a menu to view the notes like you mentioned, but it would be useless after the first part of the game. Would it be better to change them to click detectors? I had this originally but I thought the proximity prompts helped make them stand out a bit more. Again, I’m not against making a menu, but I feel like it would be more useful if I made it so it had a function later in the game, but I’m not sure what that would be.
I would’ve done this but I’m considering adding a multiplayer mode at some point, so I wanted to make that transition easier if it ever happened.
I thought this and the other whiteboards would help explain what the entity actually was and what it came from, and to provide background to the mad scientist (Pierre) and what he was planning to do. (also to show the messiness of Pierre) Since the game was already very cryptic and unclear, I was hoping these would add some clarity?
I originally thought that too- would it be better to have simple screenshots of the characters’ faces to indicate who’s speaking? Or a different art style?
At the top, the Player (the character you’re playing as) says “Jake?” which I was hoping the name would be recalled from Luke, explaining they are looking for Jake a few times. Is there a better way to add background to this? The game starts AFTER Jake went missing, so I wasn’t sure how to show this character.
All this information connects to Pierre’s plan, which is to perfect this experiment so he can eventually use it on himself (shown on the whiteboard) and control all these minions to eventually do who knows what (Didn’t want to add that since I felt that would give TOO much away) This is all in total to show that the real threat is this scientist rather than the Entity you’ve been running from throughout the game.
You definitely have to think about all of it and connect all the information in order to understand it if you are just playing it casually- would there be a better way to present all this information? (Since you as a player didn’t understand it, means most others probably won’t either so I was wondering what would make everything clearer.)
I’ll definitely add in some more smaller sound effects! I’ll add the car humming like you mentioned, and would small ambience noises in the background, like door creaks add to the game or just make it too loud?
There is definitely a a LOT of the story that must be found on your own (Like what eventually happened to the Player, Pierre being the doctor while you are a patient in the hospital, the phone dialogue, the room with the sink, the small lab part after the jumpscare) All these things connect to the story, and is for the player to interpret. Actually, I though there wasn’t much exposition when I first finished the game.
Thank you so much for your review! It helped me a lot to see the weak points of the game I didn’t see before. Sorry for asking so many questions back at you based on your response- It is hard to see things from a player’s perspective. Also, all the small building errors you mentioned I’ll go in and fix Again, thank you very much!
Try splitting the game out into defined ACTS perhaps.
Act 1: Could be a conversation between you and Jake’s brother. Jake tells you about what happened and shows you some drawings he made of the event. Maybe he’s become insanely enrolled with what happened and is constantly obsessed with it.
This act ends with you agreeing to go along with Jake’s brother to the abandoned facility.
Act 2: This could be the start of the game currently, however I’d make him an actual NPC that walks through the facility as you move through it. This allows for him to talk to you more frequently as you go through the game, developing his character.
This act could end with the entity slowly closing in on you using some kind of magical ability forcing you into the vents. As you go through the vents you find what could be an exit, you break through and then fall into the facility.
Act 2.5: Same dream sequence thing.
Act 3: You get dialog prompts hearing your friend going off somewhere, you’re still KO’d from the fall so blurry screen and can’t react. In Act 3 the entity haunts you around the facility, trying to discretely get you to go in a certain direction.
This makes it easier to think about story development and stuff and an extra act focused soully on character development makes things way easier to make sense of.
[Helpful module for dialog] (I’m working on a modified version of this which will implement character icons)
Adding in a second play button scene to stop the first cutscene from starting while I’m tabbed out very helpful. Maybe a sound effect that plays when it’s loaded to alert players to the game being loaded.
Players who go looking for information should be rewarded for it, instead of having it so you put all the lore for the entity directly in the players face having the lore hidden away from the player is more rewarding.
I meant to put the image of the the current objective thing. I never found that text to be emersion breaking honestly.
I fell off a bridge and now i’m in some lab, I don’t get it,.,
Adding in the building occasionally creaking and the sound of wind moving through the insides of the building would be a nice addition.
Exposition is when you force someone to see a text/verbal based explanation of something.
No problem here! It’s always nice seeing devs actively question things and attempt to make things better! :3
Again, thank you very much!