I need help with planning the lore for my story game

I’m trying to make a magic-based story game. I’ve been trying to think of some good backstory/lore for the game and mechanics. I was wondering if anyone could review them and see if my progress is good.

Any feedback/help is appreciated.


Could you put TL;DR, I don’t think anybody will want to read all that

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oh my god

lore and backstory - pretty good, 8/10, could be more detailed or hinted throughout the game

game systems - 7/10, everything is pretty good except the heart system, gonna frustrate some players, especially if all progress is wiped out after losing all hearts. consider a better-punishing system that isn’t too extreme

planning - 7/10, everything is pretty good too, however, more details on the appearance and characteristics of these figures would make the lore larger and better

base mechanics - 8/10, everything is very good, however you have to make sure on how these mechanics will be implemented and balanced

script planning - 6/10, nice but make sure on how these scripts will be implemented and interact with each other

storyline - 7/10 - nice, but more details on the progression of the story and the challenges the player will face would enhance the narrative

overall, its pretty good (coming from me, more experienced scripters/game creators could give a more professional rating)

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Thanks, however, it’s still in progress (30% finished) so there are some big gaps that I am going to fill later. I kinda fried my brain writing all of that in 3 days so yeah. I’m working on making everything better, so if you have more specific suggestions that will be nice. Also, for the heart system, we were thinking of removing it too. But we decided it would be a good source of income while still not making it ptw (you can buy back only 2 hearts) and you wouldn’t lose hearts in pvp. We are also giving the players a lot of hearts (10+) and are thinking about implementing in-game methods to gain hearts back. But at that point, there really isn’t a point of hearts anymore so I was maybe thinking of a “hardcore” option that you can enable hearts for. If I do that, I may or may not add a bonus like 1.3x XP or something.

Lore figures are still in progress but I am going to model them and give more personality and characteristics to them. Most of that will be done in the prologue animation and tutorial phase.

As for the scripting, I only spent a couple hours on it so I am still working on that. However, I am the only and primary scripter currently so I already have everything in my head but I will work on describing it better, especially since I forget things easily.

But it is nice to hear from the opinion of a more “average” player rather than a full professional. I want to see what the normal playerbase or non-pros would think of it. Personally, do you think you would enjoy this game if you were to play it? What do you think about the PVP? How could I make it more engaging?

At the very end of the document you posted is what I think of as the Backstory. So that is what I will give feedback on.

I think it is simple and solid.

Simple is good. Not many will remember a complex back story.

Now that you have a simple story, you can add little bits of detail as the game unfolds to enrich the overall story.

The details revealed can be things that lead to useful information. Like, where an item might be located. Or where a clue to an item might be found.

Things like having the character wonder: why are there 6 Mages?

• There were 150 Nights Of The Round Table.
• There were 9 Black Riders in Lord Of The Rings.

So, why 6 Mages? That could be an interesting part of the story to learn about and maybe it leads to a clue.

That way, you can develop a rich, interesting story that people will remember, because they experienced it instead of just read it.

6 mages for the 6 different elements.

so about the last part, we’re planning the game storyline as of now. That’s just how we’re introducing the lore. We still have to plan the storyline and all that still, which will take a while. If you read closely, you would know that there are 6 artifacts that can be combined to enter the area where the final boss is sealed. That is because of the 6 mages of the 6 elements who sacrificed themselves to perform the seal. So that ties in. The final boss can also use all 6 elements which no one was previously able to do. That is why it took all 6 of the different elements and their respective strongest users. But yes, I am trying to keep it memorable while not making it too complicated.