I have just completed my first project, and Im both looking for feedback, and wanted to show of my work.
About: The game is a simple one-player game, and there is not that much to it. Although there is a small bit of story to it.
game: Proximity Palace - Roblox
I would like suggestions, and other things to make the game a little bit better.
enjoy!
NOTE: commen bug, sometimes the insturctions once you reach the end of the bridge does not appear.
Why does it kick you if you die from falling?
There is a fatal bug that completely breaks the game when you die, and because I was trying to finish it by the time I planned to have it completed, I just decided to simply have the player rejoin if they die. 
admittidly this is the worst solution due to the fact my game has no replayability.
I understand. Here’s a suggestion: it’s a better decision to take your time doing something, even if it takes a while, a do it right. That issue is, as you said, fatal. I think it would have been worth your while to take a day or 2 to fix it
Although I agree, I decided to not because I have to do some summer stuff, where I wont be able to work on my project much, and when I get back I wanted to focus on diving deeper in to learning lua! But you are absolutly correct
The place when you enter is small and don’t have nothing else around. You should try making more enviroment in this area and put a sky that fits related to the first place which is acording to the dialogue, the universe.
Another part of the story is that after the character God makes the little place on the other side, in order to get there, you need to interact with the Marble part to complete the way to get in the island which is very long and starts to get immediately boring.
Try to make a little bit easy for the users.
After a long journey of interacting with the proximityprompt part, I enter into the city which is the island but there’s nothing to do it like what the dialogue said in the beginning that you can create stuffs in there. The place have some free models like a building from Piggy Book 1 Chapter 9 (City) and I believe the others are as well. Ones are flying and there’s nothing else do to. The story game feels like a waste of time to be honest with you, being minutes and minutes until you get just a grass baseplate with free model constructions and the story is done.
You should try to continue the storyline because it was a little bit interesting and to know who was the mysterious character that interrupted the journey while interacting the Marble parts. Maybe he can appears and destroy the world and the NPC and the player tries to stop him, you need to think something like this!
But since it’s your first project, it’s totally okay and you tried the best to look good but what is missing is a whole story between the user, the god and another character to make it fun and interesting. In case you don’t know what to add more in the storyline, try getting some inspirations from games that have tales like Hotel, Camping, etc.
And that’s it. Hope my feedback could help you out getting some more ideas. Have a good and keep improving your project! 
I like the game, but there needs to be some more improvement to it. When u are walking thru the path, you need to click/hold interact button to create a path. Try making it create the path automatically while walking. Also , make the spawn have more design to it . Overall, not bad!
the game is good but is it supposed to end when you reach the bed?
The game is pretty good I like the idea of it. But I have a few issues its just emptiness when you start I mean like no music/talking sound effect if I was you I would add undertale talking sound effects. And adding music that fits
Pretty much, after you reach the bed the chat between the two entities happens, and the entire world falls apart.
I would say after I built the bridge I left the game because I didn’t realize there was a bed. So I didn’t see that part.
Maybe include some directions after completing the bridge. It is important to reward players for their work they put into the game.
Thats strange, There are directions after completeing the bridge. Might be a bug, I will look into it.
Not trying to make you feel bad, but this game feels like a waste of time.
Although there was barley anything to do in the game already, I got some enjoyment in the first parts of the game, and then it came with the bridge.
It was boring.
I didn’t knew how long I was going to build this bridge, but I continued playing it anyways.
Then I reached to the island, I didn’t know what else to do because there were no more instructions.
And then I fell of the island by accident.
The experience with the game was boring, again, there was just nothing to do except building the bridge.
Try to add more effort on the game experience to be more enjoyable.
I made the game, And I had to play test it, I know its boring. The point of the game was never for it to be some super enjoyable experience, it was meant so that I could sharpen my skills, and for practice in game developement. Its my first complete project. I posted it to the Dev forum, so that I could find bugs, and get feedback on small little features I could add to make it just that little bit better because Im aware its boring.
This is a bug, there are instructions once you reach the end. I am trying to find the issue.
Have you thought about looking on Fiverr and hiring an actual voice actor to do the dialogue? This could add so much to the game especially if you have a good voice-over.
If I ever revisit this project in the future, That is definitly something I would think about doing! Thanks for the advice.
I just finished this. It was an interesting experience and a great first project. My one recommendation would be to use the property MaxVisbleGraphemes on your typewriter effect. It’s distracting to have the text resizing while it’s going and using that property would fix that. Typewriter Effect: New property MaxVisibleGraphemes (Live)
The game is ok.
I do not like how I spent 15 minutes building a bridge, but I think it’s fine since this is your first complete project. I think it’s cool if it was for the intention of building your skills.
Positives:
It’s an interesting concept and you’ve put a lot of work into it. I also like the fact you have a narration system in the game.
Nearing the end as the player reached the island, I noticed the time of day got later, which I thought was cool.
Negatives:
It gets boring quite quickly. Maybe speed up the proximity prompt or make the distance slightly shorter.
Most of the houses seem to be floating, and the lines on the road are all over the place. The map is also quite empty, so try adding some scenery or mountains around it.
I wasn’t sure if the story just ended when the player reached the island, because I couldn’t seem to find the bed anywhere.
I cut the proximity prompt time in half, Also I acknowledge I absolutly need to add more events that occur while building the bridge.
I did throw the city together quite fast, I absolutly agree with you.
I will work on somthing to better direct the player!
Thanks for the feedback. 
