I agree. They don’t really look like sketches. They are way too perfect. They would need to be scratchier and more crude to really look like sketches.
I meant the letters. The player characters have solid black lines, while the letters above are transparent with a black outline. It would make more sense if both were solid black.
Okay, I will revert that, thank you for feedback.
Alright, changed it into an “ink” mode (Not sure how to call it)
The text says:
7/8/1978 Yet another patients missing today, what the hell is happening? I hope tommorow things will get better because one of our patients keep making mannequins and it starts getting weird. Anyways we had to help an old person,
Looks great, but you need a bit of help with the writing portion of this, and the recipient of the letter needs to be stated.
Yep, now it’s much more legible, my only nitpick is that the characters have a much thicker line.
Here is the what the I think the text should read:
Yet another patient’s gone missing today. I’m pretty worried, but I bet they just snuck out and ran away to a motel or something. Hopefully, things will be better tomorrow. On a side note, one of our patients keeps making mannequins. It’s starting to get a little weird. Anyways, I have to get back to work.
I corrected some spelling mistakes, flow, tone, and formatting errors. I made it sound more casual, but I think sincerely is a bit too formal for this kind of letter. Maybe replace it with
“-Your pal,” or “-Love,” or something like that because this seems like a much more freindly relationship, like a letter to a spouse or a good friend. I hope you like it.
That sounds very nice, but it is kinda meant to be that he makes docummentaries of his job (Like a page of diary or something like that…)
It looks awesome, that’s really all the feed back I can give. I hope the game goes well!
Stop shaming me, that’s honestly really disgusting what you’re doing.
The post should probably be locked rn.
Anyhow, getting back on topic, I really like it. That burnt (or rotten or torn, sorry can’t quite tell) part looks especially cool in my opinion.
I genuinely like it though. , keep up the good work.
I feel really bad about the stuff I said and for breaking the rules and for making fun of ben and abusing Mark’s topic I am really sorry I’m going to take a break from forum for a little while.
I changed it a bit so it sounds more like a log of what happened and Tom’s thoughts:
Yet another patient’s gone missing today. I’m pretty worried. My liscense is already threatened and I don’t need another accident. I don’t know why these things are happening or where they went, but I bet they just snuck out and ran away to a motel or something. Hopefully, things will be better tomorrow. One of our patients keeps making mannequins. It’s starting to get a little weird and they creep me out. Anyways, I have to get back to work or he will have my hide. They said being a nurse was easy.
Tom (last name)
How is this?
I don’t think that last names are allowed, but it sounds very well ^-^ (+He is a doctor, not a nurse)
Last names are allowed. It just shouldn’t be yours. What does he do that makes him a doctor?
Well… I am not sure about that yet (I started workin’ on the game few days ago :/)
From what I’ve read, he preforms nursing duties, like giving the patients their medications and stuff like that. Nurse is not gender exclusive, and neither is Doctor. Doctors diagnose, prescribe, and analyze, Nurses do the dirty work and more manual jobs like give medications, perform duties dictated by the patient’s Doctor, and make sure the patient gets what is prescribed and will keep them healthy or make the recovery process a lot faster. Doctors also perform actions that require immense training and skill, such as surgery. Doctors are paid extremely well, and have gone to a medical university for 8 years minimum. Doctors also have specializations, Tom doesn’t seem to have one.
Updates it a bit. (Sorry for bump)