Hello there guys!
I would appreciate it if you paid it a little visit,because it took some hard work,me and my friend created almost everything from scratch and we will make more updates! I’m open to criticism so any comments would help out a lot!
Thank you all!
(Discontinued)
Looks interesting, It could use a few more details, but other than that it is a very good game.
This thread isn’t a place to ask for tips on your game, you’re suppose to give him criticism not advertise your own game. If you’d like to ask for feedback on your game, just make a thread as he did.
I’m not i am simply asking. It is a complement on his amazing build.
You said “Any tips on my story game?”, meaning you wanted tips on your own game which has nothing to do with this game.
Okay, I will change my thread comment
Right off the bat, I can see there’s a few issues that automatically catch my eye. One is the textures and how badly they’re placed and look in-general, I’d suggest finding more textures on different websites that are more pleasing to the eye. Most textures are also placed sideways rather than upwards, which gives them an even more weird look. Another thing I noticed is how outdated the models in your game are, the leaves on the trees aren’t even a green color or any other type of leaf color they’re brown and just match the trunk of the tree. The apples on the trees also need to more thin as they look more like a tomato, also the stems for the apples are red rather than brown. I get this is based on a ‘wonderland’ but it still needs to be changed as in the movie I know you’re basing this off of doesn’t have brown trees. On the pathway into the game grass is sticking through it, I’d recommend moving the grass up or making it thicker so it doesn’t show grass going over it. The buildings are weirdly placed and there needs to be more buildings in general, it looks very empty and confusing at the moment. I’d also suggest not filling your game with free models, as they could contain viruses, which will put backdoors into your game which then leads to exploiters being able to do anything in your game. The game in-general is just a mess right now and needs big improving, I don’t see anything really that looks good to me. All I see are free models, definitely would recommend taking a look at these suggestions to make your game look a lot better.
Here are a couple of things you can fix:
Overall, I’m not amused, which that’s the point of a game (take this with a pinch of salt). The map is a bit messy and it looks rushed. Maybe spend a little more time and try to make a story.
There are a few of issues Im seeing straight away. The main menu is not centered on the screen of the player, and a bad combination of the background color with text color, it was very eye straining and not very pleasing to look at. Another issue I see is about the grass, it cuts up through the parts on the map and doesnt look very clean at all. What exactly is the point of this game???
Thank you for the comment,I see that you talk about free models,the only free models we took are the images on the walls,I know that they look like free models but believe me they are not,the trees,characters,mushrooms.apples,pathways,grass,waterfall all of these I built with my friends with parts and the terrain editor.But I do appreciate the fact that you criticised the details,will for sure work on them in the future,and to add I am significantly new at developing so the bugs and lack of detail is going to be there.Anyway thank you!
Like the people said above, right off the bat the loading screen isn’t centered at all, so I would consider centering it as soon as possible. When I go I in the entrance, I noticed that there is grass coming out of the ground.
As you can see, the fences are not lined properly, and they are floating off the ground a bit. 
Some apples are floating below the trees without being held by something 
Hey! I saw you’re game and I saw a lot of things you can work on!
Although the idea is a good one, I think you should really use tutorials when it comes to building and GUIs. This is because of the loading screen being off-centered and it can trigger people with OCD. To fix this, follow this tutorial. I suggest you never use pixels when creating GUI frames as the frame can differ based on different screen-resolution devices.
The next thing I would like to point out is the lack of modernity. I’m not saying the layout is bad, but the chat is a bit too outdated. Here is an example:
While looking around, I noticed the lack of detail put into the trees and characters. For example, I think you could put more detail into this tree:
The plates and cups on the dinner table are also floating. To fix that, I suggest you get the new Lua Dragger (Beta) or you select the move tool and move it along the Y-axis
.
Overall, the idea is good, but I think you can use a scripter and builder or use tutorials to learn how to do things I listed above yourself. I appreciate you reading my comment. I only recently became a member so I apologize if there are any English errors. 
Edit: Sorry if I was a bit too harsh!
Nice work, you should only adjust some things that the Users mentioned above and a little lighting, it will be Perfect!
Not harsh at all,thank you for pointing those out,I’ll try to improve on my developing skills and not try to rush.The game is a mess mostly because I rushed it,I learned how to script 5 days ago and whatever I built was spontaneous and weird. I get where you are coming from about the designs but I was trying to go for an abnormal one,just like in the movie.But anyway thank you for the comment 
Thank you,will for sure work on those in the future.
Hey,
Your game is okay.
I think your game may get better if you improve the following:
Loading screen = You should watch a few tutorials on YouTube.
“Story” = Very confusing for “new” players
Map = 1. Trees: You should change the texture, 2. Map (in general): Too small and the path should get a texture. As with the loading screen, watch a YouTube tutorial.
(Ideas : )
Thank you for the suggestions,will try to work on them
