Yes, but one thing I learned about any online community is that there will almost always be at least one bad apple, and I have definitely experienced rude or uncalled for remarks on the Devforum, and although it was not specifically about pronouns for any of these experiences, I still think covering all ground should be necessary to keep the DevCommunity as safe as me and you want it.
If you have a rotten apple in a barrel full of good apples, do you blame the apple or the barrel?
5 Likes
I do believe that there will be a bad apple in every site. However, we shouldnât really punish all of the talented developers here, where a grand majority are extremely respectful people. At most, if someone harassed someone about their pronouns, the person who was harassed can tell a moderator and the person can be banned.
So, I agree there will be bad apples, but luckily the DevForum has many wonderful developers here, so the chances of bad apples commenting here (and having to wait a couple hours to be accepted and to comment as a regular member) are quite slim.
That is a poor example.
Even though I disagree with OPâs post, and I personally donât get offended if people call me by the wrong pronoun, some people (not saying everyone, but there are people in this example who experience this) who experience Gender Identity Dysphoria. That is in no way comparable to how much mayo you put on a sandwich and people can be offended by it, even if you arenât. I believe getting offended by that is reasonable, even if I donât get offended by a remark of someone calling me the incorrect pronoun as I am not part of the LGBTQ+ community, but I support it.
1 Like
But doesnât this mean that people are exposing their choices and can get bullied due to it? And isnât telling your gender breaking some sort of rule to keep people safe. And also how are people able to tell already doing this would make it even more awkward for people who can then harass the person. Sure it shows your support for the LGBTQ+ community and yourself but it opens up roblox bullying and how can people use the wrong pronouns what if they have their use set up as a girl but are really feeling like a guy or are a guy? How would this work?
Gender is personal info, yes, but itâs really your choice, so if you share that then itâs on you, many people donât really mind people knowing anyways. Like I donât mind if people know im a male.
For most of the rest that is why i disagreed for this request â it is another avenue for harassment, something i wouldnt like to see. I didnât understand the rest of your post though
2 Likes
Iâm sorry, but I donât support this.
Using banning or automatic friendly reminders due to misgendering is wrong and itâs just seen as ridiculing, hence the reason no other platform does this.
DevForum is not the place for this.
Everything is uncomfortable to everyone in some way, our very existence is uncomfortable as a whole because of how hard everyone has to work just to see the sun rise another day.
I understand if you want to avoid upsetting people and itâs good that you try to, but wanting people to be punished for something as small as accidental misgendering is wrong as a whole.
Though if itâs on purpose and also happens oftenly, then thatâs another thing.
I personally wouldnât care if someone misgendered me, i may correct the person who made that mistake but thereâs a 99% chance I wouldnât since itâs not worth making it into a big thing.
And I also understand how it feels to be offended as Iâm a struggling artist who doesnât take bad criticism that well in rare situations.
Scamming was a normal occurrence for me back in 2020 and as a result I was battling burnout and depression, and seeing peopleâs comments who saw that it was the victimâs fault when it came to scamming triggered me and I made some harsh replies to them as a result.
Though, instead of complaining about those people and trying to guilt-trip them for having opposite opinions as me like some people on Twitter wouldâŚ
I simply did the right thing and explained my situation first and then apologized to them instead of waiting for them to apologize to me, I didnât guilt-trip them into apologizing or ridicule them. I just gave an explanation and apologized first.
So the idea of ridiculing people who do something as small as misgendering someone is probably offending to those who actually got offended from more serious situations in their lives.
I mean, the people who made comments stating that itâs the developerâs fault during scamming situations werenât trying to anger me. I just saw something they said that triggered me.
My point is, itâs impossible to say anything without angering at least one guy in the world. The suggestion you made probably offended at least 10 or 20 people out of the 616 viewers this thread currently has judging from the many replies that disagree with your suggestion.
So just take it from me, and focus more on yourself instead of constantly worrying about offending someone. Itâs okay to care, but donât get stressed every time you type in one letter on social media.
Because letâs be honest, someoneâs always gonna be upset about what you say even if itâs not offending in the slightest.
5 Likes
This is not a good idea at all. So for me to use the dev forum, or reply to your post I have to go through your profile etc just so I know what to call you, and if I donât do that I should get warned? This is not a good idea. Itâs just not needed, just call them âtheyâ, itâs neutral. This place is for support with development, updates about development etc. This is not the place for people to be fighting over some pronouns. I get what youâre saying, but itâs extremely unnecessary
1 Like
I would suggest, not using any pronouns ever, never make assumptions on genders, and actually dont even care about that.
Our genders are not what makes us persons. We are humans, we are Devs.
I will never call someone by their gender. I guess Im gonna call them Devs, Players and even Humans. I dont care if someone thinks Im a male or a female or anything. I am me, a human, a Dev and a Player, thats all.
7 Likes
I agree with all other responses here. I see what your intentions are and what you are trying to do, but I feel that this would be a case of âcausing more problems than it solvesâ. Just as @incapaz has stated, people will abuse this, and intentionally use the wrong pronoun. Also, I agree with everyone saying that using âtheyâ is a better solution. It is gender neutral, you canât go wrong! Also, when most use incorrect pronouns when talking to people, i think it is usually intentional; I personally have had no issues with gender when it comes to other members here, and even some that may be transgender, but I think that it is more popular for people antagonize with the use of incorrect pronouns such as âitâ or using the opposite gender than they identify as. Also personally, I believe (donât hate on me for this please) that this is not as big of a problem as you are portraying it to be. Sure, it may happen once every now and then, but for the most part, having to go through the hassle of setting up pronouns just to solve a small problem isnât really worth it. Also, us here on the dev forum are mostly good people; I have personally never seen any type of bullying with pronouns here so far, and adding pronouns will most likely make this issue bigger.
TLDR: Although what you are trying to do is good, using âtheyâ is a much better and simpler way of solving the problems that are made with using incorrect pronouns.
I donât think thatâs reasonable to expect. You even used âtheyâ as a neutral pronoun in your own reply, showing how vital they are to communication. Using âtheyâ in similar contexts should be seen as perfectly fine, since thatâs what itâs for.
7 Likes
Talked to thread author and locking this thread, since it keeps getting the same content rephrased every few hours. Feel free to file new feature requests or continue discussion outside of the feature request category.