Add a place to put our pronouns and enforce use of proper pronouns

I have no hate for
the LGBTQ+ community and this response is just me stating my opinion. If I offended anyone I apologize and let me know.

I highly disagree with this feature in many ways. First of all, you can easily state your pronouns by putting them in your bio. I rarely assume genders due to the fact of cultural and gender fields. Whenever I’m on the Internet, I always use the terms “they/them”

This number one causes no offense to anyone, and when you refer it to members, it doesn’t represent or assumes their gender.

Second of all, this is the Developer Forums, not the ROBLOX Forums 2.0. Banning members by misusing their gender or misusing their pronouns, sounds extreme. Most of the time people won’t purposely misidentify your gender, and it’s usually accidental.

Overall, this feature will not fit, the solution is to either refer to people as “they/them” to cause no confusion, or just state your pronouns in your bio.

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I’m sorry if I’m sounding that I’m sexist or rude, but this is just my general intake on this suggestion

1: Why does it hurt so much about people using the wrong pronoun? I used to be misgendered when I was little and I didn’t go crying to my teacher saying ‘WAHH! This kid called me a she, they need to be suspended or expelled’. Instead, I just correct them and think nothing of it

2: They/Them are the standardized pronouns used for people who don’t define as male or female, so if you don’t like they/them, then what should we call you, a bus?

3: Generally, when I see someone complain about improper pronouns, I usually get a bad image for them in my head cause I just see no point in causing drama

4: No one that I’ve met has complained about being misgendered on Roblox, so it’s not really a big problem

5: This feature just doesn’t fit well with these forums

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I am all for the LGBTQ+ community, I support every part of it, but I do not support this post. If you get called the wrong pronoun? DM them and say this:

“Hey, I didn’t really appreciate you calling me __, could you please call me by my preferred pronoun, which is __.”

Simple, everything is solved there. There is no need to push down this rule, you realize people who don’t have English as a first language might get into this situation? If you want to do this, make it DM conversation. If they are doing it on purpose, report them for being disrespectful.

Also, I feel like this creates a problem when this wasn’t an issue in the first place. I have rarely seen anybody use incorrect pronouns on the DevForum and those who do were probably corrected by the person who corrected them.
Enforcing rules to punish users for incorrect pronouns will just ensue more issues with people using incorrect pronouns and people who don’t know what they/zir/ze or whatever other pronouns there are (mainly those who speak different languages where gender is not specified).

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Not to mention that in certain countries in the world (ex. Poland, my home country) we don’t foster the culture of pronouns and simply aren’t used to it. Just because someone is on an American majority website (that is the most LGBTQ+ accepting country) it doesn’t mean that we should be punishing users for simply not being used to addressing people by something else than he/she.

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Same, I am Canadian-Iranian and in Farsi we do not have gender pronouns for anything.

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While this post may seem like a good idea on paper, it’s a fundamentally flawed one. Yes, the OP is right about pronouns being extremely important in 2021. However, forcing people to use specific pronouns is not only infeasible but also extreme. Being misgendered hurts like getting hit by a truck sometimes, regardless of it it’s done online or not. However, that problem exists with society and forcing any change to happen won’t help at all. As a trans woman, I strongly much prefer people calling me by she/her pronouns, however, I do not think that people should get punished if they don’t. They should only receive a punishment if they willingly choose to harass someone in that way as at that point, they are breaking the DevForum rules. If you want to people to call you by your pronouns, add them to your bio and correct people when they get them wrong.

Finally, if you don’t know someone’s pronouns, just use they/them pronouns and/or ask them until you know their pronouns. It’s grammatically correct and more importantly, the nice thing to do.

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Just a disclaimer: I support the LGBTQ+ community and the people in it, but I disagree with this, I don’t think it’s needed, in my opinion.
If someone doesn’t call you by your pronouns, I’d suggest DMing the person saying that you didn’t say their correct pronoun, so they can get it correct next time. Also, I don’t think this can help, but can be useful, as you can put pronouns in your bio, such as:

  • he/him
  • she/her
  • they/them

You get the point.

Although I don’t get offended if someone doesn’t call me by their correct pronoun, as sometimes it’s a mistake, I generally don’t mind, but I’m not sure about what other people think. That’s just my opinion. This idea isn’t needed and will create more problems than solve any, I’ve been on the DevForum for a couple of months at this point, and I haven’t seen anyone misgender anyone. Misgendering is a problem in 2021, but this isn’t needed and I don’t agree with a moderator telling me I misgendered someone, therefore I get a warning due to the mistake. (Due to the fact a majority of the time, people do it by accident, let alone this has ever happened on the DevForum.)
This can also be very problematic to people who don’t have English as their first language and don’t have he/him, she/her, they/them or any other gender pronouns.

No hate to OP, either.

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  1. When something causes you pain and suffering for so long, anything more added to the pile only makes it worse. For anyone that’s trans, non-binary, gender-fluid, etc., being misgendered can make them feel invalidated. It feels like you got hit by a truck at some points. It’s extremely painful emotionally and mentally. That’s why it hurts so much.
  2. Use they/them by default but ask them their pronouns. That’s the polite thing to do.
  3. People that complain about it have every right and reason to do so. Try putting yourself in their position and realize that for them, it could be causing them extreme pain.
  4. You can look down a tunnel for your entire life with your eyes closed but unless you open them up, you will only see what you already think that you know. Being misgendered on Roblox happens all the time and I can attest for that fact as it’s happened to me. Most people don’t typically mention it to anyone else but their close friends because it hurts. Those that speak up about it in that game, community, etc. are doing so with strong and determination.
  5. I agree with you on that completely. It feels out of place and also wrong to force pronouns. While they are important and being misgendered is painful, forcing someone to do something doesn’t help fix the actual problem at hand.
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Could you please link posts showing people using the incorrect pronoun? I have rarely ever seen someone use the incorrect pronoun on the DevForum, let alone intentionally use it.
While I do understand using the incorrect pronoun can be hurtful, I don’t think punishing people for an issue that they may not understand or even realize what is wrong with their message is the right way forward.
If you want to spread awareness, send a message to the user who used the wrong pronoun, chances are that they will begin using your correct pronoun.

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This is very well said. The correct action is and always will be to send them a private message to correct them and reporting them to DevRel if they choose to ignore it. As for your last comment, it varies per person. For some people, it’s crippling and for others, it’s barely anything. For me personally, it’s really painful. However, you are right. We are all Humans and mistakes are bound to happen. Ignoring the fact that it’ll always cause pain, the best that we can do is correct the person and hope that they use the correct pronoun. You can’t force someone to do something, especially if they are against what you are telling them to do. That’s why I’m deeply opposed to this suggestion. Would it be cool to have the ability to show off our pronouns? Definitely. Should it be required to use that feature and force people to use those pronouns? Never.

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I agree, people should just private message the person who misgendered them, if they were misgendered, moderation shouldn’t get involved into something, which is most of the time, is a mistake.

As for me, I don’t get hurt, but I can’t speak for everyone.

That is the most responsible thing to do in that context, as it can be a reminder to not happen again, nor will it cause any drama.

Totally agreed. I believe misgendering can be a problem sometimes, but not on the DevForum, as usually people either refer to people as “they” or just mention their username. If people don’t want to be hurt, and don’t want chances of being hurt of being told as the wrong pronoun, I’d suggest putting it in their bio.
All in all, this isn’t needed and will cause more problems than actually solving them.

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The thing is that I don’t understand how it can hurt that badly, and what’s the difference between me being misgenered as a girl then a trans person being misgendered as a girl/boy?

I know asking it’s polite, never said it wasn’t

I’m talking about the type of people who like to make a lot of drama in public, regardless if it’s online or offline, for example, a kid throwing a tantrum in a classroom just for a word

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I get just as offended that you are comparing the pronouns a human being has chose for themselves as a sandwhich.

Just because the world isn’t the best doesn’t mean we have to just accept it. Part of life is change too.

Because the transgender person has gone through a mental state of not understanding what their gender is and even might have gone under Gender Identity Dysphoria. You, on the other hand, have not.

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My thoughts on this suggestion

I like it and dislike it. I don’t think it should be an added feature, but I do think that users should be putting their pronouns in their Devforum bio, just as they would on twitter or any other social media. There’s no need for a full update. However, I do think that people disrespecting pronouns on purpose should be taken very seriously and should be considered targeted harassment, which I believe is currently the case, but if it isn’t the case then it should be.

I’m not hurt if someone doesn’t call me by the correct pronoun, as generally I do not mind and I generally do not care, as the person said it didn’t mean to. However, most people, though I don’t believe all people, as I cannot speak for them, in the LGBTQ+, may or may not get hurt by getting called the wrong pronoun, I do not know why, (as I haven’t done my research,) but there is a reason that I do not know of, please DM me an explanation, if you do know.

Edit: I now understand that it is called Gender Identity Dysphoria, DMs aren’t needed anymore.

The difference is that those that are trans suffer from a really painful and annoying condition called Gender Dysphoria. For a cis person, it might not be a big deal but most people that are trans are either in the closet or were hiding who they are really are for very long periods of time (months, years, decades, and even life times!). It hurts because it reminds us of a time when we weren’t free and likely for some, happy. It’s a feeling of invalidation with the Gender Dysphoria that makes it become painful and not just an inconvenience. This is also the kind of pain that you’ll never fully and truly understand unless you experience it yourself. It’s crippling on multiple different levels to countless people. That’s why it hurts and why you can’t understand that pain.

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I believe if you make a mistake of it, a private DM should be taken, I’ve said this before. But the majority of users who do this aren’t doing it purposely for harassment or hurting others. If it is that situation where you insult/harass someone for your pronouns, it should be a ban.

I don’t think enforcing your pronouns in this situation is a good idea, but a more respectful approach would be telling someone what your preferred pronouns are. But I don’t want a moderator warning me for using the incorrect pronoun for someone when it was totally a mistake.

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Yes, my bad. I meant to clarify that people who do it to purposely offend. I will edit my post.

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The good news is that in all of the years that I’ve been on the DevForum, I’ve never seen nor heard of anyone intentionally misgendering someone. While it definitely happens and likely has happened before, it seems to be extremely rare and DevRel is very good at handling issues like that. I have full faith and confidence in DevRel to keep this site safe from harassment like that.

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