I originally was going to write this review off my first impressions of the game page, but I decided I wanted to actually try the game out before submitting my thoughts. This is going to be split up into 4 parts. Remember, everything written here is constructive critiscism, please don’t think I’m trying to be rude! Thanks!
IMPRESSION FROM THE AD
I actually like the ad, I don’t understand why it had a low CTR. It reminds me of the Roblox thumbnails I used to make for Youtube videos. The only pet peeve I have with the ad is that her right eye isn’t covered up by her hand but that doesn’t really matter much.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS FROM THE GAME PAGE
When I watched the trailer for the game, the first thing that popped into my head was that it was “just another story game.” There was nothing that stood out to me from the other thousands of story games in Roblox. Reading the description, the sounded like a amalgamate of a find the marker(well, in this case cards) floppa, and story game. It could be just me, but whenever I see the word “floppa” in a game nowadays it makes me feel like it’s not a well made game so it tries to piggyback off the success of Raise a Floppa
I love the art style of whoever made the digital art thumbnail, but I don’t think it describes the point of the game very well. It’s just some players on a bench talking to each other
The background of the image could also use a lot of work. It looks almost as if it was quickly made in microsoft paint
It feels like your basic story game icon. In my opinion it lacks a lot of “pizzaz” or “oomph” or whatever you want to call it. It needs something to push it over the edge. Maybe instead you could move the logo to the bottom right corner of the thumbnail, and switch the background out for some screenshots of the gameplay.
IMPRESSIONS FROM THE GAMEPLAY
I like the simplistic style and design of the lobby, and I like how there’s a shop where you can buy food that you can use as powerups!
I loved the mini-activites in the lobby! The soccer game was a nice addition
I wish that when the bus leaves it has an animation where it goes through a tunnel or something though. Instead you just kinda teleport out of nowhere.
I love how the players get different abilities and how it also is incorporated into the story. It feels very natural. For example, I was given a faster running ability than the normal player because I was the school athlete. Another player was given a higher jumping ability because they loved to play hopscotch. It’s the little details like this that give a game that quality
I liked the dialogue, it’s a lot better than most story games. Sadly I didn’t get much further in the game. I was looking for Bob’s hammer along with another player, the other player found the grip and left the game. I don’t know if this glitched the game or not so I kept looking for more pieces of the hammer. I found the head, but I couldn’t find anything else (There goes 15 minutes of my life
) The invisible walls blocked a lot of areas of the map so I didn’t really know where else to look. Some hints would be useful for the people with less than 3 braincells like myself Also I don’t know if this is just me but in both the lobby and the game the sky was completely black
After rejoining the game, the lobby sky was blue again. I don’t know if it was a bug or what
I didn’t really know what else to do and I got bored so I left the game 
CONCLUSION
I think the trailer and game description painted the overall game in a bad light. I think the game has a lot of potential but it needs better marketing. The trailer felt very meh, and while it did show off some pretty cool aspects of the game it needs a lot of work. Try to think like a kid and figure out what they would like to see in a trailer for a game. Take inspiration from other story game trailers like Break In, Airplane Story, Camping, etc. It’s a real shame this game doesn’t have more players. I hope you and your friend’s game gets the player base it deserves. Good luck! 
Edit: Also this might help you out in presenting your game
If all else fails and you’re really desperate you can always just ask your friends to play and tell people about the game, I wouldn’t recommend it and it will barely bring in any players but again, a VERY LAST RESORT.
