Roblox Visual Novel Concept

[adeformed_kidYT (Aquariodys)]

Recently, I got an idea for a Roblox game, and I decided to start working on it.
The game I have in mind is a bishōjo visual novel called “My Dear Yumesora”, centered around interactions with the female protagonist. Currently, I haven’t developed hardly any of the game, but I have been working on drawing the characters and writing the story line. This entire game is being illustrated and developed by me, although I am receiving review and criticism from my school friend.

The game icon for the finalized version of the release

As stated above, this is a bishōjo visual novel, which means the game is designed with romance intended between the player and the character in-game. The player can play through different episodes to the story, and choose certain dialogue options which can change the course of the ending of the episode, and/ or lead to special events and development with the female lead. The story does contain some suggestive themes and artworks, but does not have any explicit content (for obvious reasons). The reason for creating this game is simply due to the fact that I haven’t seen any visual novels of this genre on Roblox before, and since I recently got into the concept, I merely wanted to make my own on this platform.

The description of the game reads:

Summary

■Synopsis■

The days go by like the passing wind, feeling sluggish yet fast. Life is uninteresting and boring, and it is uncertain what’ll happen after graduation. Life is a mess of dullness that repeats over and over…

Until a transfer student enters the chapters of your life, changing your world forever.

■Characters■

Yumesora Hara

A quiet but captivating girl who transfers to your school in the center of the first trimester, Yumesora immediately draws your attention. The two of you grow together in class and band, becoming evermore closer and closer together until hitting it off in college…

But why did she choose to be friends with you? Why is she so attached to you?
And will your bond hold strong through major conflict?

I have only completed two expressions for the female protagonist, Yumesora Hara. Drawing these illustrations takes quite some time, especially since my limited artistic abilities limit the speed of which I can pump out new drawings that look good enough.

Images

Embarrassed Neutral Expression

Neutral Expression

Since I have school and band work to do alongside this project, I may only be able to procure 2-3 new drawings per week, and likely 1 or less for special illustrations intended for specific events in certain episodes of the game. However, once I complete most or all of the required drawings and illustrations for the game, I will then work on the programming and UI design aspect of the actual video game, which could likely be done by the beginning of November assuming my workload remains the same. If all goes to plan, I could release the Alpha Test version of the game by mid-December.

For review, I would like to see opinions on the general concept of the game, and critiques on any negatives that the genre might have. Thank you for reading, and I wish you a great day.

[brismoLN (IZMOboi)]

oh boy , this is a wild one
let’s talk about the story ! first of all make sure that the protagonist (me ofc) is actually doing something other than romance and has a goal like doing well in a sport or a group project , it should not be something super duper cheesy (i wanna become the one piece!!!) , do reasearch and include real life experience to it for a cool touch.
why add a main story you may ask? having a break from romance is a nice thing , showing that YOU have a life that doesn’t revolve around a person , yes you should show how boring life is without them. And how people treat you like an outcast or something (show and not tell!!!)

now about the art (im an artist and can help with this one a lot)
the icon
… hmmm , you used the same sprite for the icon , not a good choice lad!
icons are you doors and windows, they should be captivating but still not stray away for the original game , you might wanna do a rework on that !
as for the sprites , they’re pretty good ignoring the legs and the skirt and the soft black shading , the black shading has a nice feel too it , cuz everybody hates it in the art community lol
the design should reflect her personality , even if just a little bit , i know its a bit mean to say this , but she looks kinda of bland
we are talking about sprites here after all!!! this face is gonna fil the screen for more than two hours (not sure if this is a long game) and i know that you really don’t have the time or the ressources for this , im not asking you to change your artsyle or get better , but maybe do a lil silly rework on her sprite , im not asking you to make look like a protagonist from the early 2000’s , but adding more warm colors can make her seem like a friendly person! red eyes mean dangerous , and a blue aura symbolises calmness
if you need any advice from me when it comes to art or even testing the final product , you can slide in my pms anytime
good luck mate!

[adeformed_kidYT (Aquariodys)]

The story itself will of course include elements other than romance, since the story requires engagement other than the romance aspect of the game. In the script, there will be various dialogue options which lead to different events in each episode.

For the game icon, I don’t intend to keep the current one I have. It was quickly made just for time sake, and I plan to make a more visually appealing one later on in the development of the game.

For the illustration of the character(s), I unfortunately won’t really be changing too much on them. Since this game is more of a “proof of concept”, I wish not to make everything perfect until later iterations or successors to this game. I of course would love to fix some shading and ratios on the protagonist, but for now, they’ll do (especially considering my limited skill level).

I do appreciate the feedback you gave me however, and I’ll take some of your words to consideration as I continue drawing, writing, and developing, especially once the game is released.

[brismoLN (IZMOboi)]

tag me up when you’re done! i will surely give it a shot